2724| 27
|
古韵十期初词第八讲作业帖 |
| ||
点评
上下阕第一二句太多名词,缺少灵动。
| ||
| ||
点评
词呢
| ||
| ||
点评
语言还好。下阕如果能再多突出一下粉黛草的“神”感觉会更好一些。
| ||
点评
词的立意应更高一些。
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
s
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
Archiver|手机版|中诗诗词文学网
( 赣ICP备15011364号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-5-3 22:44 , Processed in 0.058317 second(s), 21 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.4
© 2001-2012 Comsenz Inc.